Living In The Past

I recently watched a movie called "Body of Lies" which was your typical spy thriller with deceit and unexpected twists. But my point here is not to write a movie review but to examine a quote that I thought was very interesting. Note that the context of the quote from the movie was used differently.

The quote: "If you live like it's the past and behave like it's the past; then the guys from the future find it very hard to see you."

Immediately when I heard that statement my mind kept comparing it to the church and my field of youth ministry. The question that was replaying over and over in my head was "How is my ministry context behaving like the past, that students now and in the future are not able to connect? And then my head exploded with about a million more questions here is a few.

What is wrong with the ways of the past?

Is there anything from the past worth using in todays culture?

How far should we immerse ourself in culture to reach teens?

What will the future look like and how can we be ready for it?

I have written on some of these questions in my previous posts but I still think it is necessary that we keep asking them. I pray that youth workers will continue to immerse themselves in conversation with peers to help each other come to new conclusions of ministry.

Before I start to unpacking this more I would like to hear your thoughts on the quote or inquiries that were brought up. Please feel free to discuss both church and youth ministry scenarios.

Columbus had three ships the; Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria, I have Friendship, Leadership, and Discipleship

One of the saddest scenario's inside of parenting children is that one parent tries so hard to be the cool fun parent, by seeming more as a friend than as someone who offers direction and discipline. Leaving of course the other parent to always be the bad guy that punishes kids for their actions and put them on the right track.

I am afraid youth ministry is no different except for the fact that we as leaders have the option to choose what hat we want to put on when we are with students. Making it a huge temptation to always be the "cool" guy, an image that portrays I am your buddy rather than your leader. If you are a youth worker and constantly taking this friendship role, than you might be giving up your ability to give new direction or quite possibly your respect as a leader.

Please do not miss interpret what I am saying I believe both being a friend and leader are a crucial part in building authentic relationships with youth. Both are needed to transform the lives of students, but I think there needs to be a healthy balance of the two. Everyday I tiptoe on the very fine line that separates friend from leader in my connections with students.

What then can help us keep this balance of friend and leader?

I believe the key is to purposefully have the mindset of true discipleship along with friendship inside this journey we call life with our students. In John 15:13-15 Jesus specifically calls the disciples his friends, but they are no doubt also being discipled by him. Meaning Jesus was a friend but was also constantly imparting his knowledge and correcting his followers to a better way of life.

I think that in a lot of churches and youth ministries today we have not been offering true discipleship for the people under our care. Instead of making healthy disciples who follow Christ we have been making converts who claim to. A convert does not and will not have a solid foundation of faith to make more disciples hence, we are stuck in a pattern of mass decline in church attendance.

I guess what I am saying is that it's o.k. to be the "cool" guy or friend, just be the cool guy that is also seen as leader. Don't be the friend that turns the other cheek by letting bad behavior slide or the friend that refuses to correct you when your in the wrong. Your students need a leader that is offering discipleship in every aspect of their lives whether the situation is good or bad.

Just as with the case of being a parent you do not want to be seen as just a friend to your children, but someone who leads them on the right path. So they to will someday raise their children in this same manner. So I leave you with this question to ponder.

In what situations are you sacrificing discipleship for friendship with your students?