What Do You Mean You're A Youth Pastor?

I wanted to start a series that shares the most important things I have learned in my first year as a full time youth pastor, since I am coming up on my anniversary October 12th. But first I wanted to explain what exactly a youth pastor is and or does with his or maybe hers (depending on your denomination) everyday life.

Ever since I started telling people that I was going to college to pursue a job in youth ministry I would always be looking into a very confused face. Or hear things like that "is that really a college degree or a career," or "you can get paid for that!" Or phrases like "Ok so you have an office at the church now what exactly do you with your time when your there?" "You get to take students to movies, amusement parks, sporting events, or to get food, and then sometimes the church pays for it!"

Usually the people that react in this way have no concept of church or a relationship with God, but I think even people in the church can sometimes underestimate or degrade the work of being a youth pastor. As if somehow our job is secondary to theirs and all we know how to do is play games and eat pizza. I believe that if this was the case and youth ministry was just all fun and games that you could buy a parent a $20 game book and have an effective outreach. Obviously taking away the need for a trained youth leader that understands how to reach youth culture.

For a long time I struggled when people would ask the question "What do you mean you’re a youth pastor?" Implying that they could not understand what exactly I did with my time or why it was necessary. Often I would just give them a simple answer like "I get to hang out with teenagers for a living" or explain that I am like a glorified Sunday school teacher. But deep down I knew that there was so much more to what we do as youth ministers, that I really did not even know where to start explaining.

I came across a small article in a youth magazine that was written by another youth pastor. The article had no introduction or ending, it was simply 1 Corinthians 13 reworded for youth pastors. When I read the article I not only came away with a better understanding of 1 Corinthians 13 but also had a better understanding of what I am called to do as a youth pastor. So I thought I would give it a try myself to help explain the question "What do you mean you’re a youth pastor?" Following is the passage I chose to represent that answer.

2 Corinthians 6:3-10 For Youth Pastors

We live in such a way that no student will stumble because of our actions or words, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God even if is just playing dodge ball.

We patiently endure a text message early in the morning or late a night, students living a double life, fast-food five times a week for the sake of our health, listening to a story because no one else will, along with other troubles, conflicts, and disappointments of every kind imaginable.

We have been beaten physically and emotionally, faced angry mobs of parents, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights and not just because of all-nighters, and gone without food to pray and fast for those in our ministry.

We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love for youth. We faithfully preach the truth. God's power is working in us. We use weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack against the enemy and the left for defense of ourselves, family and ministry. We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us.

We are loved, but then we are hated. We are ignored by students, even though they know us well. We live incarnate in youth culture, but are still adults. We are always our self, but yet different for every student. We have been temporarily forgotten, but always remembered as someone that cared.

Our hearts ache for teenagers, but we always have joy. We are poor by choice but give spiritual riches to others. We don't own the houses we live in, we drive cars with high mileage, pay most of our salary to school loans, but yet we have everything.


Here is the link to the God inspired version of the passage.

2 Corinthians 6:3-10

Living In The Past

I recently watched a movie called "Body of Lies" which was your typical spy thriller with deceit and unexpected twists. But my point here is not to write a movie review but to examine a quote that I thought was very interesting. Note that the context of the quote from the movie was used differently.

The quote: "If you live like it's the past and behave like it's the past; then the guys from the future find it very hard to see you."

Immediately when I heard that statement my mind kept comparing it to the church and my field of youth ministry. The question that was replaying over and over in my head was "How is my ministry context behaving like the past, that students now and in the future are not able to connect? And then my head exploded with about a million more questions here is a few.

What is wrong with the ways of the past?

Is there anything from the past worth using in todays culture?

How far should we immerse ourself in culture to reach teens?

What will the future look like and how can we be ready for it?

I have written on some of these questions in my previous posts but I still think it is necessary that we keep asking them. I pray that youth workers will continue to immerse themselves in conversation with peers to help each other come to new conclusions of ministry.

Before I start to unpacking this more I would like to hear your thoughts on the quote or inquiries that were brought up. Please feel free to discuss both church and youth ministry scenarios.

Columbus had three ships the; Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria, I have Friendship, Leadership, and Discipleship

One of the saddest scenario's inside of parenting children is that one parent tries so hard to be the cool fun parent, by seeming more as a friend than as someone who offers direction and discipline. Leaving of course the other parent to always be the bad guy that punishes kids for their actions and put them on the right track.

I am afraid youth ministry is no different except for the fact that we as leaders have the option to choose what hat we want to put on when we are with students. Making it a huge temptation to always be the "cool" guy, an image that portrays I am your buddy rather than your leader. If you are a youth worker and constantly taking this friendship role, than you might be giving up your ability to give new direction or quite possibly your respect as a leader.

Please do not miss interpret what I am saying I believe both being a friend and leader are a crucial part in building authentic relationships with youth. Both are needed to transform the lives of students, but I think there needs to be a healthy balance of the two. Everyday I tiptoe on the very fine line that separates friend from leader in my connections with students.

What then can help us keep this balance of friend and leader?

I believe the key is to purposefully have the mindset of true discipleship along with friendship inside this journey we call life with our students. In John 15:13-15 Jesus specifically calls the disciples his friends, but they are no doubt also being discipled by him. Meaning Jesus was a friend but was also constantly imparting his knowledge and correcting his followers to a better way of life.

I think that in a lot of churches and youth ministries today we have not been offering true discipleship for the people under our care. Instead of making healthy disciples who follow Christ we have been making converts who claim to. A convert does not and will not have a solid foundation of faith to make more disciples hence, we are stuck in a pattern of mass decline in church attendance.

I guess what I am saying is that it's o.k. to be the "cool" guy or friend, just be the cool guy that is also seen as leader. Don't be the friend that turns the other cheek by letting bad behavior slide or the friend that refuses to correct you when your in the wrong. Your students need a leader that is offering discipleship in every aspect of their lives whether the situation is good or bad.

Just as with the case of being a parent you do not want to be seen as just a friend to your children, but someone who leads them on the right path. So they to will someday raise their children in this same manner. So I leave you with this question to ponder.

In what situations are you sacrificing discipleship for friendship with your students?

Sub Group Communities

The world of a teenager in today's culture offers many different subcultures to be a part of or belong to. No longer are schools plagued with the "popular crowd" like cheerleaders and jocks and then everyone else that happens to attend the school. I graduated in 2002 and this model was already beginning to fade, although I did not have as many groups to choose from at least there was a choice.

The fact is that all students just like us are discipled, experience God, and worship differently, therefore a once a week meeting of 1-2 hours that offers a little bit of everything simply just not cut it anymore for transforming lives of teens. They need to be a part of a healthy community that goes along with how they grow and learn to be the person Christ needs them to be.

Through prayer and discernment of my situation and some frustrations of how youth ministry has been taught to me and done in the past. I have decided to offer my students a choice if you will to take part in different communities within our youth group, that I call "Sub Groups." My vision for this is that it turns our youth ministry into our own version of the verses found in Acts 2:42-47.

"42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.

44All the believers were together and had everything in common.

45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. "

I hope I am not sounding like a consumerist in this approach because I don't want students to feel forced to attend because it is on some calendar that I send out, or make it seem that I am running a bunch of small youth ministry programs. But am merely trying to offer something that speaks to how teenagers function today and receive a sense of belonging within a authentic healthy community. There is no real agenda to these Sub Groups except for the fact of why they exist and what they offer.

To start we have an all girls and guys sub group that is similar to the idea of what a small group setting might look like. These groups touch on the more spiritual side of prayer, scripture, and accountability. Soon we are going to offer two other groups that alternate weeks throughout the month one being a Jam Session for the more musically inclined students. And the other one being simply opening the church doors and allowing the students to come hangout and play games. Obviously these two groups focus more on the building relationships and fellowship aspect.

For now I am announcing when these groups are taking place because it is rather new to the parents and students within my ministry context. But over time I hope that through consistency I will not have to let students know when these different groups are meeting. That they will just be part of the way they live life and how they connect with others and with our heavenly father. And that other students in our community will find out about them simply through the networking of my students that already attend. Mind you this is not a secret attempt to shove Jesus down throats of teenagers, but to allow students to be discipled and grow in the way God has created them and get to know them for who they are.

By really pushing an important sense of community through my recent lessons and through conversations with students. Other Sub Groups have surprisingly sprung up without any direction on my part but totally the idea of students. For example two of my Sr. High guys wanted to start meeting with me over chicken wings on a weekly basis. Girls now like to meet with my wife for shopping and talking over a meal about boys and other female issues.

The response so far has been far better than I anticipated and have had amazing results in transforming lives of not only students but leaders as well. I believe that as a group we beginning to understand why meeting in these communities is so crucial to our development, following Jesus and fulfilling our purposes on earth as Christians. Having a chance to have life on life experiences with my students throughout week has been an awesome opportunity, and could not imagine ever again only meeting with them once a week. I can only thank God for what he is doing within the ministry he has so graciously given to me to help out with.

It's Not About Me

Last week I got the opportunity to set up my new office as the Director of Youth Ministry at Valleyview Alliance Church. I am so excited about doing full time ministry and seeing if all my school debt was worth it. (I know it will be) When I graduated in May I truly expected to have a job all lined up and ready to go, but to my surprise that was not the case. But finally now I am in a place where I know God wants me to be.

After I finished placing the final piece of furniture in my office just how I wanted it, I took a second to soak in the moment of starting ministry. That night when I went to bed I could not fall asleep due to the excitement of everything new that now surrounds me. I had thoughts of how and could make the ministry better, I imagined all the cool youth retreats and events, and all the new people that I would get to meet.

When I came into my office the next morning I started off with prayer, and God very quickly gave me this message. “This is not your church or your youth group, for they are both mine. I have placed you here to serve in my ministry.” But when I heard that I kind of brushed it off and continued in my new found enthusiasm. Later that day I received an e-mail from my Dad and in it he placed one of his famous one liners that are used for advice. Usually it’s “don’t do anything stupid”, but today was different. In the last line of the message before he signed his name he wrote “Remember It’s Not About You.”

I thought about that for a second then remembered what God told me in my devotions earlier that morning, and then realized what they were both trying to tell me. It’s not about me or what I want or think that I have plans for. It’s about listening to God to hear what he wants and to follow his plans. It’s about putting down my selfish desires and simply doing ministry the way God needs it done. A lot of what we do is all about impacting our own world and forget about what really matters, impacting the Kingdom of God.