After 1 Year As A Youth Pastor This Is What I Know

Part 1: I MUST BE A SHEPHERD THAT LIVES AMONG THE FLOCK

I recently went to a youth training seminar held by Barefoot Ministries at which Chris Folmsbee spoke on the roles that we play in the lives of students as youth leaders. He created a diagram of three circles that all intersected in the middle, which he called the sweet spot or a good balance between all the roles coming together. The three main roles in which we have are Advisor, Advocate, and Guide, but you can substitute another synonym for any words if you happen to like them better.

My point in all this is that those three main roles, I believe fall under the title of Shepherd. I as youth pastor must be a Shepherd to the youth in my ministry. I must give advice to the flock, I must advocate for the flock, and I must guide the flock. But to do this effectively I as a Shepherd must live among the flock.

Of course I am not saying that I need to be with students 24/7 because that would be unhealthy for both of us. But the relationship must transcend and be more than hanging out for 4 hours a week during Sunday School and Youth Group. I must be more than just being an acquaintance who teaches from the Bible twice a week. I must be in authentic relationships with students, by which we share our lives together, that can be defined as a healthy fellowship community.

Jesus is the great shepherd the best example of what it means to be one; he spoke in John 10:14 "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me-" There is no way that I can know my students for who they truly are and have them know me, unless there is a deep meaningful relationship taking place. This can only be done if I am living among the flock under my care.

If I am not living among the flock, I will never know who is lost or who has wandered off the path. I will never be able to bandage those who are injured, or give strength to those that are weak. I won't be able to have compassion for those that are being harassed or might be helpless. I will not understand the idols that are deceiving my sheep and making them go astray. I won't be able to give food and drink to the ones in my flock that are hungry or thirsty. But most of all I will not be able to lead my sheep to Christ, who is the ultimate provider of all these things.

I still must remember that I am a sheep in the flock of Jesus, which is sharing a journey towards knowing and serving God with other sheep in His great flock, including my students. Not only am I a Shepherd for my students, but a sheep standing right next to them grazing in the Lord's plentiful pastures and receiving His awesome grace.

I am not going to sit here and explain different ways that I as a Shepherd live among my flock. For one I believe that every "Shepherd" posses skills and gifts that allow him to do this differently than the shepherd down the street. And secondly every "flock" or group is different and has special needs or ways that one can live among them. Instead pray and ask God to reveal how you can be or do this with the students in your ministry.

However I am saying that there is a major difference between a youth pastor that lives among his sheep as opposed to one who does not. I very much believe the one who lives among his flock, will have the more effective ministry. Be a sheep and a shepherd that listens to the voice of Christ, that knows him, and follow him.

Columbus had three ships the; Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria, I have Friendship, Leadership, and Discipleship

One of the saddest scenario's inside of parenting children is that one parent tries so hard to be the cool fun parent, by seeming more as a friend than as someone who offers direction and discipline. Leaving of course the other parent to always be the bad guy that punishes kids for their actions and put them on the right track.

I am afraid youth ministry is no different except for the fact that we as leaders have the option to choose what hat we want to put on when we are with students. Making it a huge temptation to always be the "cool" guy, an image that portrays I am your buddy rather than your leader. If you are a youth worker and constantly taking this friendship role, than you might be giving up your ability to give new direction or quite possibly your respect as a leader.

Please do not miss interpret what I am saying I believe both being a friend and leader are a crucial part in building authentic relationships with youth. Both are needed to transform the lives of students, but I think there needs to be a healthy balance of the two. Everyday I tiptoe on the very fine line that separates friend from leader in my connections with students.

What then can help us keep this balance of friend and leader?

I believe the key is to purposefully have the mindset of true discipleship along with friendship inside this journey we call life with our students. In John 15:13-15 Jesus specifically calls the disciples his friends, but they are no doubt also being discipled by him. Meaning Jesus was a friend but was also constantly imparting his knowledge and correcting his followers to a better way of life.

I think that in a lot of churches and youth ministries today we have not been offering true discipleship for the people under our care. Instead of making healthy disciples who follow Christ we have been making converts who claim to. A convert does not and will not have a solid foundation of faith to make more disciples hence, we are stuck in a pattern of mass decline in church attendance.

I guess what I am saying is that it's o.k. to be the "cool" guy or friend, just be the cool guy that is also seen as leader. Don't be the friend that turns the other cheek by letting bad behavior slide or the friend that refuses to correct you when your in the wrong. Your students need a leader that is offering discipleship in every aspect of their lives whether the situation is good or bad.

Just as with the case of being a parent you do not want to be seen as just a friend to your children, but someone who leads them on the right path. So they to will someday raise their children in this same manner. So I leave you with this question to ponder.

In what situations are you sacrificing discipleship for friendship with your students?