Dear Red

Today I want to take the time to write about somebody who helped change my story, a God loving gentlemen that passed away recently, someone that I will forever admire and respect. I never got a chance to tell him how he helped me on my journey of knowing who I really was. But I don't think that I needed to because he already knew. He was never my pastor or youth pastor but as adult he still ministered to me.

His name was Red.



Dear Red,


I first remember you when I was young you were old then Red, but you reminded me of another Grandfather. You didn't say much to me yet but I knew you were someone I could trust and feel safe around. I knew that you received great joy and happiness in your heart by watching my childlike faith and when I had a smile on my face. Even then you could see it me Red, even then you knew.


Throughout my teenage years you would make it a point to talk to me Red, you talked to all of us. You would ask me How I was doing, but there was something different about you Red, when I would respond I knew that you listened. Whenever I did not attend church for a week, the very next time you saw me you would say that we missed you last week. Why Red? Why would you say that Red because you cared. You were even older now Red but all the more wise, and your wisdom you did share with me and I listened, we all listened Red. But still you saw something in me Red, something that not to many could or took the time to. What was it Red, why can't I see it?


The first couple years of college when I would come back for breaks, I noticed Red that you had a slight cough that you couldn't shake and you would tell me never to get old. But I knew that you were proud of my choice to serve God as a youth pastor, I knew that this brought you happiness within your heart. You had a big heart Red, we all could see it. Still you could see something inside of me, still you looked at me differently than most people did. I don't know what you saw Red nothing is there, I am not special.


The summer before I graduated college I got the opportunity to preach at our church Red, but now you have a oxygen machine that helps you breathe. I know Red I will try my best to never get old, but no promises. The night before I spoke you sat me down and prayed for me with the most authority that I have ever heard. I don't remember the exact words you said that night Red, but I know you forever instilled within me the confidence to speak the words God has given me to say. That is when I first began to see Red, when I first realized what you have been looking at all this time.


Throughout my life you never looked at me with disappointment Red, you never treated me as a sinner because you knew I was better than that. You saw that I was created for a purpose Red and in God's image. You knew it in your heart Red that my heart was also good, that I was meant to shine God's glory. Besides my family Red, you were one of the few people that could look at me like this, like I was special you saw my true heart. We are all special Red, some of us just can't see it yet. Let alone look at others in the way that you always could look at us. Don't' worry Red, I am beginning to see it others now to.


When I heard that you left us and went to Heaven I knew it was your time Red. I know that you are not old anymore and that you you finally shook that cough. I know that you have a new set of lungs that allows you to breathe clearer than ever. But one thing still remains Red and that is your heart. I was glad to hear that you left dwelling on all the good things the Lord as done for you and the last beat of your good heart Red, will remain an inspiration to all that you touched. Thank you for seeing Red, I know I will see you again and pray that you can still see it in me.



With Love,



The Child of God that Red Saw


Arnie Buehler