After Two Years As A Youth Pastor This Is What I Know

Your Relationship With Jesus Must Constantly Be A Priority

Personal spiritual formation is no doubt important for any Christian, but if your a pastor and not putting in time for you and Jesus to be together, you are simply wasting your time.  You will not be at a place to shepherd the flock and even spiritually lead your own family.  How can you expect to lead others into deeper spiritual formation when you are not practicing it on a regular basis; if not everyday? 

One of my favorite classes in college was called Personal Spiritual Formation the professor constantly reminded us that the reason we practice spiritual is for the sake of others.  Its not only important for you spiritually, but for the spiritual well being and sake of others even those closest to you such as your spouse and children.

I heard something recently regarding this topic that I don't think is new, and believe I have even heard it before but really enhances my point here.  It's called practicing the four P's standing for I am a person first, then a partner (spouse), followed by being a parent, and lastly a pastor.

The first P, I am a person is the most important because it is all about you finding time personally to spend with Jesus or practicing any other spiritual disciplines that strengthen this relationship.  As a pastor it's often easy to constantly worry so much about others spiritual health that you forget that you are a person who deserves time alone with God too.  It's no secret that Jesus spent time alone praying to his father and we should be no different. 

The Second P, I am a Partner refers to your second most important relationship which is with your spouse.  Marriage is no doubt a great spiritual forming relationship if and when it is not neglected.  The ministry lifestyle can be extremely unpredictable, very time consuming, and stressful and if one is not careful you can quickly forget about your spouse.  From a husbands perspective the wife needs to feel loved, important, protected, emotionally met and listened too.  I don't know about you but I certainly cannot make my wife feel this way by dedicating 10 minutes out of my day.   

Thirdly I am a Parent, this one is coming more and more real each day as my daughter gets older.  Children without question need their parents involved in their lives.  As a youth pastor I understand the power of influence a parent has over their children, and the frustration when a parent does not take advantage of the great opportunity to help shape their kids spiritually.  Again ministry can suck up the precious moments that the Lord gives us to build relationships with our children.  After my daughter was born I became so much more aware of God's love for us as His children and the yearning to be in relationship with my daughter. 

Lastly I am a Pastor, this P involves all the other relationships that I may come connected to.  People are consumers and will consume all of you and your time if your not careful.  Leaving the first 3 more important P's empty and neglected, causing you to not be at the level spiritually that one needs to be, to even be a pastor.  Your church needs to know that there are boundaries and they are fourth on your priority list.  But this does no good if you do not make sure that they remain 4th on your list in your every day choices.

But in my experience when you are fully engaging the spiritual formation power of the first three P's  this is when you can have the greatest effect on the fourth P, you as a pastor.  People in your church need to see the joy that radiates from your face when you spend time alone with Jesus.  People are touched when you show love to your wife and children and  make them feel important to your life.